I'm pretty proud of my marriage to my husband. I'd say we have a good one going here. I have been with this guy for 12 years, I think, and I've learned a few things over the years on keeping our marriage going and happy. Here's what I've learned. My Mindy lesson for the day. I gave one on Facebook yesterday so here is today's.
1. This is definitely number one.
You have to communicate! Like for reals. Every frustration, every appreciation, every thought. Tell each other them! We all know I'm a huge open book so my husband gets that too. Poor guy. But I'll tell you a not so secret, secret. Guys aren't the smartest at reading women so you kind of have to tell them. Word for word. It's a fact. Sometimes I'm all annoyed or mad and he's like, "why are you mad?" And I say "you seriously don't know why I'm mad?" He says, "uh no..." Which makes it more annoying and me more mad. So don't do that. They don't know! I think I've finally accepted this myself.
2. Get to know each other. Everything! Know their limits of when to stop being a B to them. Or when they are worn out and need your support. Pay attention to their needs. Everyone has them. Like I need a massage every night. Sometimes he fails at this and then we go back to number one again... It's ok, this brings me to number 3.
3. Forgive each other! We've been over how the men are not perfect and neither are we... Ok we are like this close to it right? Maybe I could like make his lunches or something. Nah, I'll choose something else. I already have 5 kids to feed! Feed yourself you grown man.
But on a serious note we all mess up big or small so no ones perfect. Accept their apologies and get over it.
4. After you have kids, work harder. We are a prime example. We had a posse of children and one day it was like, "oh hey there person sharing my bed, who are you again?" Like seriously, you forget you're married. You can't even have a conversation until the kids are in bed and most times I work or he's on nights or we are wiped. Or... Ahem, I watch my shows. But whatever.
Anyways, date yo man. I'll say it again, communicate! Make time for each other here and there. Dust makes an effort to text me more and sometimes even call while on a break. Like once a month... But I'll snap chat him throughout the day. No not of that you pervs. I'll send what the kiddos are doing or how cute Parks is again bla bla bla.
5. Laugh. I've been kind of a crank lately with him on shut down which he's now done and I have realized that. I'm working on it and not snapping at him or being "feisty" as he calls it. I'm getting back to my happy place and away from my running away place. Being a mom is hard sometimes!
6. Look good for your spouse! I got to a point where I was lazy and didn't care what I wore or looked like most of the time but I realized I want to look good for my man. I cared when he married me so I put that effort into my hair, makeup and clothes. It seriously doesn't take long once you get a quick routine down. I'm working out and trying to get into shape. For him and myself though. I've had a few health issues arise this year so I'm trying to live a healthy lifestyle because I'm not getting any younger! Anyways just make a little effort like put on your cuter sweats and tshirt. So. me. What? I said effort. That totally counts.
7. Grow with your spouse and not apart. This is big too. Everyone changes, no one stays the same person in 10-30 years and so on. I'm definitely a different person since Dustin married me and so is he but we grew together and accepted those changes. I mean to a point. If they become a major ass then that's not ok. And women get your hormones in check! I'm definitely more "feisty" these days compared to the old ones which I feel bad for sometimes. Kind of. Whatever at least I acknowledge it. What is it Dr. Phil says? First you have to acknowledge the behavior then change? Meh. Baby steps counts.
Anyways those are my thoughts. My husband can drive me mental lots of times. Did I say lots of times? He's like a giant child. I have 6 children actually. Except I don't make his lunches... I probably drive him nuts too, he laughs at me a lot. When I'm angry and going off he just laughs and says he wishes he could record me. We balance each other. He's more laid back and I'm not as much or however you would describe me. "Almost perfect" could be one way to say it.
I asked him the other day "are you sure you wanna be married to me forever?" He laughed and then asked me. I said "well I'm kinda stuck, we decided to have a colony together."
I'm kidding, I wouldn't want anyone else. For real. He's perfect and so amazing to me all that mushy stuff, I definitely married my best friend.
There's some things I have learned so far. Now taking appointments for counseling. You're welcome.